Victim blinded by love

By Kath Gannaway
JEANNIE Blackburn didn’t choose to be a victim of violence.
She certainly never thought that the man she loved would deliver such cruel blows.
“We think we can stop them hurting us… make them better,” she said when asked why she stayed for as long as she did with her abusing partner.
“We’re blinded by love,” she says with unintended irony.
Her partner Paul McCuskey was jailed last month after a kick to the head during a brutal and bloody bashing that left her blind in one eye.
Jeannie, 46, lives each day now with the fear of total darkness; the fear of losing her good eye.
She says she never pictured herself as a victim of ‘domestic violence’.
“I am a very well educated person and I should have known better,” she says, acknowledging it is a harsh self-indictment.
Jeannie and McCuskey met in 2004 and shared a happy relationship for almost two years.
She said a series of tragic events led him to start drinking heavily and the relationship changed.
Over a period of eight months, until they parted in July 2007, Jeannie suffered verbal and physical abuse, which grew increasingly more violent.
She is not alone. Domestic violence takes up more police time in the Yarra Valley than any other offence.
And, it’s a hidden crime. As happened in Jeannie’s case, women often suffer through several assaults before police are called.
In many cases, the offences are never reported to police and if they get to the courts, they are rarely reported in the media. Most women don’t speak out.
Jeannie said had it not been for the support and compassion shown to her by Lilydale police investigating the assaults, she would not have had the courage to follow through with the charges.
The police responded to information from a third party following the assault in which she lost the sight in one eye.
“If it hadn’t been for the police taking hold of that situation and saying this is not acceptable… it wasn’t that I lost an eye, it was that the violence was escalating,” she said conscious that people will ask why she didn’t leave or go to the police earlier.
“I was embarrassed and ashamed,” she said. “And I believed Paul when he said he didn’t mean it… that he was sorry.”
It has taken nearly two years for the charges to get to court and Jeannie said that in itself has been an ordeal. She feels vindicated, however, and empowered to let other women know that violence must never be tolerated and that there is no excuse.
“I knew I had support from family and friends, but the support of police was what made it possible,” she said.
“I want people to know the police are there, and not to give up.”
In her victim impact statement read in court, Jeannie said words could never describe the full impact on her life.
“I avoid places where an act of violence may occur. I hate hearing people yelling. I am scared to go out in public alone; scared of falling over,” she said.
“I’m afraid of being afraid. I am embarrassed and have very little confidence when outside my safety net.”
She said she now faced the grim prospect of looking for future employment and was shattered when she couldn’t even pass the SES medical as a volunteer.
“I know I have to accept the realisation that the prospect of motherhood is very remote,” she said after suffering two miscarriages during the relationship.
Jeannie said she has forgiven McCuskey and believes his remorse.
“If I don’t forgive him, I can’t move on, but I can’t just forget this either,” she said.
“I feel now I can face other people and tell them of the warning signs.
“If I can help one person to avoid the hurt that I have had, and am living with, I have achieved something,” Jeannie said.
The Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service of Victoria offers a 24-hour crisis help line on 9373 0123 or free call 1800 015 188.
A regional service is Eastern Domestic Violence Outreach Service (EDVOS) on 9870 5939. For police response call 000.