Care to share the load

By Laura Armitage
MADELINE Ellery and her husband Rod are looking forward to their golden wedding anniversary next year.
Madeline, now 67, has spent most of her married years caring for her husband with his ongoing health problems.
“We’ve been married for 49 years next month, so we’ve only had nine years of what I call a normal marriage,” she said.
For the past 40 years, Rod has been suffering from chronic pain in his ear, caused by a tropical infection, a consequence from his time serving in the Vietnam War.
“He went to Vietnam in 1970, which ruined the rest of his life, absolutely ruined it,” she said.
“He had to give up work in the Army because of his health, and then prove to Centrelink he was unemployable.”
Rod’s health problems stem from his work as a medic during the war.
“This is why his ears became injured, because he was underneath the helicopters, and he was out where the big guns were booming.
“The ground was wet with the herbicides they sprayed, so we don’t know whether that’s affected him as well, because they couldn’t tell me why he had breathing problems yesterday,” she said.
For Madeline, caring for her husband was all part of her marriage vows.
“I didn’t think of myself as a carer until about 1998 when someone pointed it out,” she said.
Madeline has since joined the independent carer’s group in Healesville, that meet regularly for a coffee and a catch-up.
“I’ve really found the group to be very, very helpful,” she said.
“I think you need to be able to forget about being a carer, even if it’s for two hours.”
Brenda Gardiner is the unofficial head of the Healesville carers group, and a past carer herself.
“We get together every Tuesday and we meet for coffee,” she said.
“It depends on whether the carer has enough time, because you need to leave your sick person in someone else’s care, so they can’t always make it.”
The Healesville carers group aims to provide respite away from sickness for a short time.
“Our group is a jolly group, you can talk about your problems and get rid of it and have a bit of a laugh,” she said.
While many of the members of the group are no longer carers, they provide help to those still caring for family members.
“We’re support for them in the initial stages,” Brenda said.
“Six of us recently went up to Yea to be at the funeral for a lady’s husband.
“You could see that it was a relief to her that we were there.” While the group provides friendship and support, they don’t pretend to be counsellors.
“If they need a bereavement counsellor we can point them in the right direction,” she said. “But we allow them to talk and vent their frustrations.” While the Healesville carers group is independent from any government body, they are affiliated with Carers Victoria and keep up-to-date with current information.
If you are interested in joining or finding out more about this group contact Brenda Gardiner on 5962 3834.