Defining abuse

By Kath Gannaway
WHO wouldn’t step in if they saw a woman being slapped, punched … kicked?
That’s abuse; it’s assault … whether the victim is someone they know, or a stranger on the street, most people would like to think they would intervene.
But what if it happens behind closed doors … and it’s only the readily explained away bruises that neighbours, friends, work colleagues and extended family are confronted with?
Ask yourself, “would I get involved” if the slap was a vicious verbal assault? If the punch were constant emotional dominance and control? If the kick was isolating the woman from family and friends … keeping her financially dependent?
Is that ‘family violence’? Should someone step in … even if the woman herself doesn’t see herself as being in a violent relationship.
According to Debra Cahill and Julia Blackburn of Yarra Valley Community Health, a partner with the Mail in this Family Violence Campaign, not only do most people not understand what family violence is, there remains an entrenched silence around the problem.
Simply put, family violence is any type of abusive behaviour in a family or relationship where one person attempts to gain and maintain power and control over others.
“I’ve never worked with a woman, or a man, who knows what it is,” said Ms. Cahill, YVCH Family Violence co-ordinator and counsellor who has worked in the Yarra Valley for the past three years.
“Sometimes women come to us because they are depressed, or they come in for physiotherapy and they can’t hide the bruises; there are indicators of someone living in an abusive relationship,” she said.
“Family violence is more than physical abuse such as pushing, punching or slapping,” she said.
“It includes behaviours such as name-calling, threats to harm, humiliation, put-downs, isolation from family, friends and community, financial control, damage to property, animal abuse and not being permitted to practice spiritual and cultural beliefs.
“It’s hard to get that message across … to the abused, to the abusers, and to others.”
Many children and young people live in a family where a parent is being abused.
“They get hurt too,” says Ms Blackburn, YVCH’s Health Promotion Officer.
“Witnessing and being part of family violence, they can experience behavioural and emotional problems, emotional scars and grow to see violence as a legitimate way to get control of a situation, or to solve conflict.”
Recognition that family violence is wrong – sometimes illegal, but always wrong, is the first step in addressing the issue.
“We all have a right to be safe, and help is available,” said Ms Cahill.
“Counselling, information, advocacy and referrals to other services are available in Yarra Ranges for people who have, or are currently experiencing family violence.
“Men’s behaviour change programs are also available for men who want to manage their behaviour and improve their relationships.”
Yarra Valley Community Health operates from Healesville and Yarra Junction. Phone 1300 130 381 weekdays.